CHINA GROWS 5%, A FIGURE CONFIRMED BY EVERYONE EXCEPT THE ECONOMY
Official data show 5% growth in the first quarter, a figure Beijing hits with commendable regularity every time it sets out to hit it. A closer look reveals weak consumption, inconsistent reporting me
Ferrari Unveils First Electric Car, Promises It Will Sound Exactly Like a Very Expensive Hair Dryer
The Luce model marks the end of an era for Italian engineering: now you can't even hear your midlife crisis coming.
Spain National Team Coach: 'Real Madrid Players Too Busy Winning Champions Leagues, So We Took Barcelona Benchwarmers Instead'
In a historic first, Spain's World Cup squad contains zero Real Madrid players—and the coach says it's because they 'just aren't hungry enough' for international glory.
Iran Vows Not to Yield to US Pressure, But Hardliners at Home Are Even Scarier
In ongoing talks, Tehran's negotiating team fears domestic backlash more than any American demand.
Carney Deploys Canada's Most Powerful Weapon: A Firmly Worded Sentence
PM calls flotilla incident 'appalling' after exhausting all other options, including doing absolutely nothing.
Iran National Team Granted Border-Crossing Visa That Expires 90 Minutes After Final Whistle
U.S. officials confirm players will be issued 'Matchday Only' passes, must surrender cleats at checkpoint, available for cavity search if game goes to extra time
U.S. AND IRAN REACH HISTORIC DEAL THAT ONE SIDE DENIES IS BEING NEGOTIATED
Vice President Vance announced that Washington and Tehran are very close to a memorandum of understanding that would extend the ceasefire by sixty days, reopen the Strait of Hormuz, and begin talks on
EMIRATIS BOMB IRAN DURING CEASEFIRE: "DIDN'T HEAR IT, WE'VE GOT TINNITUS"
Abu Dhabi launched new strikes on Tehran hours after the official ceasefire announcement. Military spokesperson: “We were told ‘guys it’s a ceasefire’, but we were 30 meters away from an explosion. Ca
Hong Kong Principal's Singapore Swearing Sparks City-State's Most Polite Investigation Ever
‘We are deeply offended and would like to lodge a formal complaint, please and thank you,’ authorities say while offering the suspect a tissue.
China Mobile Announces Plan to Finally Explain What a ‘Stan’ Is, Hooks Up Kazakhstan to Hong Kong
Company says laying fiber across Central Asia is easier than convincing Americans that ‘Stan’ doesn’t mean rap fan
Alberta Secession Vote Delayed After Oil Sands Accidentally Float Away During Referendum Prep
Carney warns secession is a 'dangerous bluff,' but province can't even keep its land attached
AI Hype Bubble Bursts After Cable Maker Admits Wires Don't Actually Think
Fujikura's stock halved as investors realize fiber optics can't generate profits from sheer enthusiasm
