Sunday, June 14, 2026
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RUSSIA AND UKRAINE SCHEDULE TALKS TO DISCUSS A DOCUMENT THAT DOES NOT EXIST

The second round of direct negotiations since 2022 is set for June 2 in Istanbul, provided Russia delivers the ceasefire memorandum it promised a week ago and has never produced in written, spoken, or

⚡ THIS IS SATIRE ⚡

The second round of direct negotiations since 2022 is set for June 2 in Istanbul, provided Russia delivers the ceasefire memorandum it promised a week ago and has never produced in written, spoken, or retrievable form. Ukraine has asked to read the document before signing it, a demand Moscow considers brazen. Russia's conditions for a truce — that Kyiv halt mobilization and foreign aid — effectively ask Ukraine to surrender in order to negotiate its surrender. Analysts describe the talks as a game of Risk on Christmas Eve 1992, played between two gambling-addicted economists each convinced that the barrel caliber of his plastic tank is a deeply personal matter. It has been going on for four years. Nobody has taken Kamchatka yet.


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