U.S. AND IRAN REACH HISTORIC DEAL THAT ONE SIDE DENIES IS BEING NEGOTIATED

Vice President Vance announced that Washington and Tehran are very close to a memorandum of understanding that would extend the ceasefire by sixty days, reopen the Strait of Hormuz, and begin talks on Iran's nuclear program. Negotiators have reportedly reached agreement, pending only the signature of the president, who has not yet provided it, and the cooperation of Iran, whose foreign ministry maintains that no negotiations are taking place. To work around the communication breakdown, the two sides have adopted the only alphabet they agree on: Morse code, transmitted by bombardment, in which a short detonation is a dot and a long one a dash. At this rate, negotiators estimate it will take roughly sixty days to complete at least the introduction to the accords, provided neither side makes a typo.

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