Nepal
Nepal Supreme Court Rules Ex-PM Too ‘Too Poor’ to Launder Money, Drops Arrest Warrant
Justices question how a man who allegedly laundered millions could only afford a 1998 Maruti.
cable car
Tourists Stranded Mid-Air Demand Refunds, Also Elevation
'We paid for breathtaking views,' one passenger said, 'but this is ridiculous.'
FIFA World Cup
Mexico Agrees to Babysit Iran During World Cup So U.S. Doesn't Have to Make Awkward Small Talk
Sheinbaum: 'We'll keep them entertained. You just focus on not invading anyone during halftime.'
China
Xi Assures Pakistan That China's 'Unbreakable' Friendship Includes Free Mediation for Any Dispute, Even Family Arguments
PM Shehbaz thanks Xi for offering to mediate between his mother-in-law and his wife, calls it 'a game-changer for domestic peace'
tennis
Wawrinka Forced to Retire by Boredom as Swiatek’s Routine Win Highlights Tournament’s New Normal
Three-time Grand Slam champion gets emotional send-off; Iga Swiatek defeats opponent, gravity, and the concept of competition in under 90 minutes
Japan
Japan Finance Minister Unveils $19 Billion Budget Conjured From Treasury's 'Forgotten Coat Pockets'
Sanae Takaichi insists the funds were found in a jar labeled 'emergency unicorn fund' and vows no new bonds will be issued—just old ones recycled
Trump
Trump Announces Iran Peace Deal Has 'Broad Outlines' But Won't Say What They Are; Pope Warns AI Will Write Better Treaties
The White House says the broad outlines of an agreement have been reached, but refuses to share the outlines. Meanwhile, the Pope cautions that the next peace deal could be generated by ChatGPT.
BHP
BHP’s Climate Pledge Now Officially Renamed ‘Net-Zero By, Uh, Whenever’ After Leaked Docs Reveal ‘Brakes Slammed’ on Green Projects
World’s biggest miner publicly vows climate leadership while internal memos show it’s busy ‘war-gaming’ ways to delay solar panels until retirement age.
heatwave
Runners Collapse After Realizing They Trained All Winter for a Soup-Simmering Contest
Organizers blame climate change for stealing their thunder—literally.
Geopolitics
Iran and U.S. Close to Historic Deal, Except for Every Single Point They Disagree On
Both sides confirmed that talks are progressing well.
Geopolitics
U.S. Bombs Iran Again, Clarifies This Is Still Called "Negotiating"
Pentagon describes strikes as 'defensive operations.' Analysts describe them as 'aggressive remodeling.'
Breaking BJ
US SUSPENDS ARMS SALE TO TAIWAN: “IT’S NOT THAT WE DON’T LOVE YOU, IT’S JUST THAT IRAN NEEDS US RIGHT NOW”
Taiwan reacted calmly to the suspension while reportedly researching homemade fighter jet construction techniques.
Breaking BJ
USA-IRAN: THE MOST POLITE WAR IN HISTORY
Negotiators confirmed that diplomacy and missile exchanges will continue simultaneously under the current agreement.
News
GLOBAL EXPERTS URGE CALM AFTER ANOTHER WEEK OF EVENTS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN UNTHINKABLE LAST YEAR
Experts once again reassured the public that everything is under control, despite mounting evidence suggesting otherwise.
Breaking BJ
New York Times Publisher Urges American Media: “Do Not Bow to Trump” — Statement Issued From Behind a Paywall
He clarified that he was referring to other newspapers.
