SOLAR BEATS COAL IN THE UNITED STATES AND NOBODY IN CHARGE WANTED IT TO

For the first time on record, solar energy generated more electricity than coal in the United States. In May 2026, solar supplied 12.8% of the nation's electricity. Coal supplied 12.2%. Five years ago, solar was at 5.4% and coal at 20%.

The milestone occurred despite the Trump administration directing $700 million in wartime emergency powers to support coal plants and exports, rolling back renewable energy incentives, and blaming solar and wind for rising electricity costs. Energy analysts attribute those costs to growing demand, ageing infrastructure, and the war in Iran.

Energy experts note that coal still retains several strategic advantages over solar, including its traditional role in American barbecue culture. That assumption was challenged this week when farmers in Alabama unveiled a solar-powered grill that cooks meat using concentrated sunlight and a system of mirrors.

Asked for comment, the White House issued a statement containing only the phrase: "For f*ck's sake."

States won by Trump in the 2024 election accounted for 74% of all solar capacity installed in the first quarter of 2026. The sun, it turns out, does not check voter registration.

This article is satire written with human editorial oversight.
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