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Breaking BJ

USA-IRAN: THE MOST POLITE WAR IN HISTORY

Negotiators confirmed that diplomacy and missile exchanges will continue simultaneously under the current agreement.

1 min read

Doha, 2:00 PM — Araghchi signs the ceasefire. 2:03 PM — CENTCOM sinks three Iranian speedboats. 2:07 PM — Araghchi asks for another pen.

American and Iranian negotiators reached a historic agreement today to discuss the conditions for beginning to talk about a possible preliminary draft of a pre-framework accord.

Meanwhile, CENTCOM clarified that the strikes near Bandar Abbas were “purely defensive,” as the Iranian vessels were advancing in a suspiciously nautical manner.

Tehran responded by shooting down an American drone, an F-35, three AirPods, and a seagull that looked like a spy.

Tomorrow they negotiate again. The day after, they shoot again. The schedule was agreed upon by both sides.

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