RUSSIAN DRONE HITS AN APARTMENT BUILDING IN ROMANIA, A NATO COUNTRY RUSSIA ASSURES IT IS NOT ATTACKING

A Russian drone, launched as part of an overnight attack on Ukraine, missed Ukraine and ended up striking a residential building in eastern Romania, injuring two people. This is, technically, territory of the Atlantic Alliance — a circumstance that would oblige the twenty-four allies to a collective response, and is therefore filed as an "incident."

Asked about it, President Putin cast doubt on the account: "A Russian drone? Are you sure? Hmm. It could have been the drone of a wedding photographer who just found out the bride was his ex." Silence and dismay accompanied the statement.

The allies expressed concern and announced they would monitor the situation, an activity that consists of waiting for the next drone to determine whether it, too, will be an isolated case. It would, in that event, be the ninth isolated case.

Editor's note: Kevin pointed out that if the isolated cases number nine, they are statistically no longer isolated, but a distribution. The newsroom looked at one another and shut him in the trunk of a 2003 Pontiac Aztek.

This article is satire written with human editorial oversight.
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