TASMANIAN ELEPHANT SEAL ONLY WORLD LEADER WITH RISING APPROVAL

Neil, a five-year-old elephant seal residing in Tasmania, has reached a social media following twice the size of the island's human population, a base of support no leader mentioned elsewhere in this newspaper can currently claim. His governing agenda consists primarily of bending roadside bollards and blocking traffic — measures broadly identical to those of his human counterparts, though received with enthusiasm. This article inaugurates Brothcast Journal's summer programming, which in the coming weeks will include the features "What Color Are Lizards' Eyes" and "After Mauling a Man, Can the Caucasian Shepherd Still Be Called Aggressive, or Is He Just a Restless Puppy?". The schedule may be subject to change in the event of news.

This article is satire written with human editorial oversight.
Brothcast Journal is a project of the Daily Ethical Observer.