France Deports Top Students Right After Graduation: 'We Prefer Them Uneducated and Depressed'

Government defends policy as 'anti-ambition' strategy, says deporting valedictorians is 'a form of humility training'

PARIS—In a bold new initiative to combat overachievement among immigrant youth, France has begun deporting high school graduates directly from their diploma ceremonies to the airport, where they are handed a one-way ticket to their parents' country of origin, along with a laminated certificate of 'temporary gratitude.'

"We found that immigrant students who graduate with honors were becoming a serious liability," said Interior Ministry spokesperson Gérard Lefranc, explaining the policy at a press conference held next to a pallet of confiscated graduation caps. "They get too attached to the idea of belonging. It's un-French. We prefer them to remain in a state of manageable depression—it's easier to track."

The policy, titled "Opération Félicitations et Au Revoir" (Operation Congratulations and Goodbye), targets the impoverished Parisian suburb of Saint-Denis, where officials have been surprised to discover that immigrant students actually pass their baccalaureate exams. "We assumed they'd fail and go home quietly," admitted a local prefect who spoke on condition of anonymity because, as he put it, "the whole thing is a nightmare and I haven't slept in three days."

Seventeen-year-old Aïcha Diallo, who was pulled off a train to Marseille three hours after her graduation ceremony, told reporters she was "confused." "They gave me a medal for best essay in French literature, then a deportation order. The same envelope. I think the subtext was 'You write too well, now get out.'"

Editor's note: Our editor Kevin, who spent two hours fact-checking whether this was actually a social experiment, has asked us to clarify that while the policy is real, the phrase 'temporary gratitude' was made up by Kevin himself during a 3 a.m. coffee binge. He is not okay.

The program has drawn comparisons to a bizarre high school exchange where the host family kicks you out for being too good at the dinner table. "You see, when a French-born citizen graduates, we call it 'national pride,'" said sociologist Dr. Émilie Petit. "When an immigrant graduates, we call it 'dangerous integration.' The logic is that a diploma creates expectations. Better to deport them before they expect a job."

Prime Minister Gabriel Attal defended the policy in a televised address, saying, "France welcomes talent, but only if that talent agrees to be deported immediately after proving itself. It's symmetry. We take your hard work, and you take a flight." He then held up a copy of the 1789 Declaration of the Rights of Man and slowly tore out the page on education.

Critics have pointed out that the policy ignores the fact that many of these students have lived in France since childhood. "I can't even speak my parents' language," said 18-year-old Mamadou Traoré, who was issued a deportation notice while still holding his report card. "They want me to go to a country I've visited twice. I'll be a foreigner there too. I think the plan is for me to become a professional third-culture casualty."

As of press time, France had announced plans to expand the policy to include kindergartners who learn to read before age 6. "If they can read, they can write, and if they can write, they can apply for citizenship," a ministry memo explained. "The goal is to keep them functional but disoriented. Like a perpetual state of jet lag."

When asked what the long-term goal of the policy was, Lefranc shrugged. "To make our graduation ceremonies more dramatic. Currently they're just boring. Now there's real stakes—will you get a diploma, or will you get a deportation order? It's like a reality show, but with more paperwork."

Ispirato da: France's policy of deporting immigrant high school graduates in a poor suburb

Categoria: Politica

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