space

Hong Kong Police Astronaut Deploys Space Handcuffs, Issues Citation to Alien Dust Particle

Mother of three brings law enforcement expertise to microgravity, promises zero tolerance for illegal orbital lane changes

BJP

BJP’s First Achievement in West Bengal: Solving Cow Shortage by Scaring Away All Cows and Traders

Eid cattle markets empty as party’s pro-cow promises inadvertently create cow-free zones

BHP

BHP’s Climate Pledge Now Officially Renamed ‘Net-Zero By, Uh, Whenever’ After Leaked Docs Reveal ‘Brakes Slammed’ on Green Projects

World’s biggest miner publicly vows climate leadership while internal memos show it’s busy ‘war-gaming’ ways to delay solar panels until retirement age.

heatwave

Runners Collapse After Realizing They Trained All Winter for a Soup-Simmering Contest

Organizers blame climate change for stealing their thunder—literally.