China Accuses Quad of Forming Exclusive Small Cliques, Vows to Form Bigger, More Inclusive Clique of Its Own
Beijing insists its own alliance with Russia, Iran, and North Korea is ‘not a clique’ but a ‘group of like-minded friends who happen to meet every other week’
Trump Declares War on Wind, Loses as Breeze Continues Blowing Without His Permission
Former president’s all-out assault on offshore turbines fails to stop them from spinning, much to his bewilderment
Messi's Hamstring Diagnosed with 'Complex Emotional Fatigue,' Club Imposes Strict Media Blackout on Muscle
Inter Miami doctors confirm the 37-year-old's hamstring is simply 'tired of all this travel' and needs a 'spa day.'
China’s 4th ‘Routine’ Combat Patrol This Week Just Checking if Taiwan’s Navy Is Still There, Says Beijing
Both sides scramble jets and ships for the 47th time this year, citing ‘defensive readiness’ after summit that accomplished nothing.
US to Return $6B of Iran’s Money to Help Regime ‘Better Suppress Its People’
Trump administration reportedly sees unfreezing assets as ‘win-win’: Iran gets cash, critics get new outrage material
DR Congo Deploys ‘Zombie Containment Units’ to Tackle Ebola Burial Crisis
Hazmat teams now required to carry notarized affidavits proving they are not body-snatchers
US Bombs Iran in 'Self-Defense' Mid-Peace Talks, Because Nothing Says Negotiate Like Explosions
Pentagon insists the airstrikes are just a 'confident handshake' as diplomats continue discussing the Strait of Hormuz over lunch
Sri Lanka President Wins Two-Thirds Majority, Immediately Pledges to Investigate How He Won Two-Thirds Majority
Anura Kumara Dissanayake secures exactly enough seats to rewrite constitution but insists he’s still ‘just a humble anti-graft crusader’
Trump Declares War on Wind, But Turbines Just Keep Spinning, Laughing at His Tiny Fists Shaking at Sky
Former president vows to 'stop the wind itself' if elected; scientists confirm this is not how physics works
Messi Diagnosed with ‘Hamstring Fatigue’—Medical Term for ‘I’m Tired and Don’t Wanna Fly to Argentina’
Club doctors confirm the 37-year-old has run out of pep, prompting national outcry and a heated debate about the ethics of overusing the word 'fatigue'
Japan’s Underworld Recruiters Adopt Gig Economy Model: 'Flexible Hours, No Experience Needed, Must Be OK With Violence'
Tokuryū crime rings now offer signing bonuses, referral rewards, and same-day pay for armed robberies—all via social media
Netflix Adaptation of '3 Body Problem' Claims Second Life as Executed Business Partner Proves Three-Body Problems Are Indeed Fatal
Chinese court confirms that in the streaming wars, you don't get canceled — you get executed
