Thursday, May 28, 2026
NEWSWIRE
Brothcast Journal Satire Geopolitics Iran United States

U.S. BOMBS IRAN DURING PEACE TALKS, CLARIFIES THAT “NEGOTIATING” DOESN’T MEAN “STOPPING”

Officials clarified that peace talks and missile strikes are not mutually exclusive activities.

Washington has confirmed that launching missiles at Iranian military sites while diplomats sit at the same table does not constitute a contradiction, but rather an “advanced negotiation strategy.”

The Pentagon explained that striking missile launch sites and mine-laying vessels mid-talks is comparable to showing up to a job interview holding your competitor’s already-shredded résumé.

Iran called it an act of war. The U.S. called it self-defence. Oil called it Christmas, hitting $98 a barrel — the only participant in the negotiations that is visibly winning.