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Geopolitica Emotivamente Distrutta

STRAIT OF HORMUZ: TRUMP THREATENS OMAN WITH “BLOWING UP” — THE SULTAN CHECKS UNDER HIS ARMCHAIR FOR A MINE AND GOOGLES WHETHER HIS INSURANCE IS STILL VALID

Regional leaders confirmed the Strait of Hormuz remains operational despite mounting concerns regarding war, diplomacy, and furniture safety.

1 min read

Result: no mine found. Insurance: expires June 3rd.

Donald Trump clarified his diplomatic position on Oman today with his trademark subtlety: “Behave like the others or you'll blow up.”

Sultan Haitham bin Tariq slowly lifted the cushion of his presidential armchair, checked underneath, took a deep breath, and urgently called his insurance broker.

The Strait of Hormuz remains open “at any cost” — which currently means: the cost of four regional wars, two aircraft carriers, one and a half Abraham Accords, and the collective sanity of every foreign minister involved.

The oil keeps flowing. Like the tears.

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